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Программист в армии. Часть 4. Собственно, призывной пункт

11.03.2012

Призывной пункт это такое место, что вроде бы ещё не армия, но уже и не гражданка. Поэтому напрягать по-серьезному никого не напрягают, но и расслаблять тоже нельзя. Поэтому в этом месте начинается первый этап армии - страдание хуйнёй. 


Частенько были всеобщие сборы, где происходила следующая ситуация. Выходил какой-нибуддь майор, и спрашивал:

 - У вас есть два способа времепровождения, первый и второй... Какой выбираете?

Обычно среди них скрывались:

1) Самое частое - смотреть кино в кинотеатре за 20 рублей (это только кажется что мало, а вот вышел покурить - плати ещё 20. Вышел на обед - ещё. Построение на плацу - соответственно плати). За четыре дня нашего пребывания на призывном пункте, кассир (призывник кстати, охуенная должность у него, деньги собирать) собрал больше 20 тысяч с бедных призывников.

2) Косить траву. Руками. Хрен вам, а не косы. Хрен вам, а не серпы. Это заниятие для мазохистов, потому-что обычно выбор в сторону кинотеатра всё-равно был.

3) Наряд. Особо невезучим удавалось попасть в наряд по столовой прямо на призывном пункте. Самое печальное времепровождение, но и время летит быстро. Потом, в армии, очень много людей пользовалось этим принципом. 

И какбы всё. А, если очень повезет, тебя отправят на ЭКСТРАВАГАНТНОЕ задание. Мести лужи метлой, (Тогда мне это казалось бредом, сейчас нет) ну или что-то типо того.

Кстати, у каждого призывного пункта есть какое-нибудь название. Наш назывался Холодильником, потому-что когда-то давно (в дореволюционные времена =) он находился на улице Холодильной. В Омске проще - Обезьянник.

Итак, как происходит процесс приема новых военов: приезжает автобус, сгружает солдат. Солдаты, пьяненьким строем устремляются внутрь, где их нещадно трясут, отбирая непосильно нажитое: флаконы, водку, иголки, ну в общем все, к чему можно придраться. Но грамотный воен всё что нужно пронести сумеет. =) Дальше медкомиссия. Но даже если какие дефекты и найдут, закроют глаза. Нахуй надо человека домой заворачивать, если он вот он - уже пришел готовый! =)

Но меня завернули. Продержали до 6 вечера, а потом выяснилось, что мест в армии больше нет. Но, как вы понимаете, это был ещё не конец. Веселый, я пришел в военкомат на следующий день, за паспортом. Там уточнили: А ты программист? Уже тогда я заподозрил неладное, но бесстрашно ответил утвердительно. И на следующий день, программист поехал в армию еще раз. В этот раз уже на год =) 

После ещё одной медкомиссии (во дибилизм, да?) нас определили в казармы и оставили в покое. Двеери закрыли от буянивших рядом офицеров десантников.

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