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Часть 14. Строевая

08.06.2012

(У меня сдача диплома через пару дней, но сегодня я одолею новый пункт) 



Одной из самых главных армейских выдрочек (не путать этот жаргонизм с животным) является строевая. Строевая - это когда толпа военов толпой (или повзводно) ходят строевым шагом по плацу. Это обычно и имеют в виду, когда говорят фразу: "Топтал плац" и её производные.

Обычно всё происходит так: час строевой, 5 минут перекур. Потом повторяется 3 раза. Обед, после обеда повторяяется ещё четыре раза.
Итого: ноги превращаются в кашу-малу уже после одного дня.

Почему такой суровый график? Потому что нормально и быстро научиться ходить строевым шагом практически невозможно. А присягу принимать нужно уже через месяц после прибытия. И нельзя допустить, чтобы на присяге воины опозорились перед родителями!

Необходимо соблюдение требований:
1. Нога поднимается на 15-20 сантиметров.
2. Удар ногой на всю подошву, громкий, ОДНОВРЕМЕННО со всеми воинами в роте.
3. Одна из рук взметается далеко-далеко за спину, другая прилетает полусогнутая к груди, параллельно земле.
4. Не перепутать руки\ноги =)

К каждому из этих пунктов обязательно привяжутся, накажут и доведут до какого-никакого совершенства.

Теперь про ноги. Как я сказал выше, ноги стираются за день. Если используешь сапоги и портянки - то можно отсрочить этот момент на неделю. Но сапоги и портянки молодняку не дают. Из выбора остаются только свежие, нерастоптанные бердцы, которые сжирают ноги на раз.

В момент начала обильных занятий строевой ценность лейкопластырей / бинтов+изоленты, зелёнки и йода поднимается просто в геометрической прогрессии. На гражданку постоянно ходят делегации, и закупаются этим в магазинах. На солдатские деньги, естественно.

Каждый вечер делегация из трети роты отправляется в санчасть, с целью закосить от суровой жизни. Идеальным и практически несбыточным закосом является постельный режим, а вполне выполнимым - тапочный режим. Это значит, что везде и всегда ты ходишь в тапочках. Естественно, дело касается только лета. Зимой приходится терпеть.

Довольно забавно выглядит марширующая рота, у которой половина бойцов одета в тапки =)

Через какое-то время строевая получает новое направление - индивидуальная строевая. Это значит, что из строя вызывается один воен, и грусно, но целеустремленно махая руками, он ходит перед ротой. Малейший косяк воена даёт повод поржать всей роте, поэтому такой метод приносит свои плоды.

Ах да, если вы подумали что после строевой бердцы можно снять - вы ошибаетесь! Воен ходит в бердцах (вонючих и потных) с 6 утра до 8 вечера. Снимаются бержцы днём только на дневной сон (если он вдруг появляется в распорядке).

После сурового первого месяца строевая нагрузка уменьшается, а через пару-тройку месяцев вообще остается только 2 дня в неделю по 15 минут. И то, это больше похоже на брожение воинов туда-сюда.
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